Blogging and The Guilt Game

Blogging and the guilt game // via And Yes To JoyA few confessions about some of the latest things I’ve been guilting myself over lately…

I didn’t manage to get a Sunday Morning Coffee post up yesterday.

The February newsletter was supposed to be sent out and in all of your lovely inboxes on February 10th. Life happened; other commitments challenged my delicate blogging schedule… and the newsletter went out two days late. Was it a good newsletter? I’d like to think so, I’ve received some pretty positive feedback on it! My constant thought on it, “it was late, I promised it on one day, and I delivered it late.”

I was supposed to be revealing a brand spanking new design today. It’s been in my notebook, planner and on post it notes around my desk for days now. Where is this new design, you ask? Well, over 15 versions of it later, it still sits, unfinished, and will hopefully be ready this week…

There are comments on posts from last week that I haven’t had the chance to return yet, sorry guys.

There are pages on the blog that need to be refreshed and updated. I promise, I will get to them.

There may be an email or two sitting, unopened, in my inbox right now. I promise, I will get back to you, I didn’t forget you.

Some other, non blog related guilts…

I’ve been starring at those two missed calls from my older sister for well over 36 hours. It’s not that I don’t want to call back, I just haven’t found the right time and space to sit down for a chat.

I ordered out way too much this weekend. Way too much.

It has been months since I went to the gym. And don’t even get me started on my current laundry situation.

Guilty.

How many times have you popped by your favorite blog, only to be greeted by an apologetic line or two from the blogger. Apologizing for taking some time off from their regular positing schedule, or even for doing some of the things I mentioned above.

As bloggers, we often become so attached to our spaces and our readers that we start fabricating expectations. I say fabricate, because normally the expectations that we think others have of us are far more heavy than the ones they actually have.

That’s why when you read that apologetic blog post, you don’t think “yes, she/he had better explain why that newsletter was late.”

No. I’ve found that, when you have a really great relationship with your readers, they are more concerned for your personal wellbeing. The guilt that you’re feeling is self inflicted, and a burden that you just don’t have to bare. So let it go.

I mentioned that one of my goals for this month is to avoid feelings of overwhelm. I think part of that begins with letting go of these feelings of guilt.

Have you ever felt this type of guilt before?

Reader Interactions

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  1. Ah yes. Bloggers guilt. It’s a curse I swear. I used to apologies all the time and have made my self stop doing it. I suspect it actually annoys people 😛 So glad I stumbled across your blog, it’s lovely!! x

    • I’m glad you made yourself stop doing it! I’m over it too. Happy to have made a blog connection, thanks for commenting 🙂

  2. Yes indeed, I couldn’t agree more. We apologize for being late all the time even though these are our own spaces and bet your bottom dollar no one (or almost no one) noticed. Maybe one of your 200 daily visitors might be a little sad there was nothing for them to read there today but no one is holding that against you.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Cheers

  3. Yes, it happens all the time. My biggest feeling of guilt right now is that I’ve changed up my content and I feel like I’m letting people down. But then I realize it’s my blog and I can do what I want to. I still feel guilty though!

    • Ok… so I may or may not have zoned out in my night class tonight and spent some time digging through your archives! I loved the changes that your content has taken, I think it indicates growth and focus. Excited to see what you continue to do!

  4. Im going through this now! Ive been so overwelmed with getting things done for my business that I feel like I have been neglecting my blog..I get my posts up but I feel like they could be so much better if I had a little more time to work on them..its hard but I try to keep in mind that my readers know what Im going through and hope they will be supportive..thank you for sharing! its great knowing that you are not alone

    • Sometimes we have to prioritize our selves a bit to get things done. Everything can’t have our undivided attention. And we absolutely shouldn’t feel guilty because of it!

  5. I feel guilty when what I have to do is something other people expect of me. Directly. I definitely don’t feel the need to apologize for not posting often or redesigning or whatever because whenever I read someone else doing that, I think, “Oh, get over yourself, no one cares.” Oops.

    • I hate letting people down as well. But even in those situations I’ve found that people would rather know that you’re ok and a project was late than know that you didn’t take care of yourself to get it done.

  6. Don’t feel guilty Amber. Sometimes life gets in the way and you just need to let go of all your blog related expectations, plans and to-do-lists. There is a Swedish proverb that says (well, translates quite badly to) “he who waits for something good never waits too long”. I try and remember that every time I don’t follow my own plans for the blog (which by the way is quite often).

    • PS. I did miss the Sunday Morning Coffee post yesterday. Those are my favourites. I’m happy there wasn’t anything more serious going on…

      • I promise, Sunday Morning Coffee will be brewing strong this weekend! I’m so glad you enjoy those posts, I love putting them together!

        I love that proverb, maybe I’ll create a graphic or wallpaper with it! What do you think?

        • I think that is a great idea 🙂

  7. Don’t feel guilty! We’ll be here when you get back, blogging for you should be fun not an obligation.

    • So true! I’ll always post as often as possible, but I’ll never put up a bad quality posts for the sake of having one up.

  8. I understand. I felt some guilt when I was taking month or so break with my old blog due to technical issues & life, but that break did help me realize that my blog topic at the time wasn’t the right one for me. Couldn’t agree more with you, though. There’s no need to feel guilty about such things!

    • I’m glad you were able to get something out of your blog break that ended up bettering you! That’s awesome!

  9. You are so right, Amber. It’s so easy to feel ‘guilty’. However, I think us bloggers, forget that life comes first and blogging second. Sure, it’s a big part of my life but sometimes e-mails and keeping up with all the social media outlets need to wait. =)

    • Exactly! Before everything, there is your own wellbeing. If you don’t love yourself enough to rest, what do you love yourself enough to do?

    • Same with you lady!!! By the way, I can literally feel the joy you have for life beaming through your posts lately!!

  10. Yes! I can totally relate to this. I’ve missed a few days here and there since January 1st and have felt bad! But if something is going to give, it has to be blogging. I can’t afford to skimp on life and school.

    But, now that I think of it, when I read other blogs and notice that the person hasn’t posted in a while, I don’t think “shame on her!!”, I think “Oh, life is happening!” I also read some blog post (don’t get me lying about where I saw it!) that said that you “shouldn’t” apologize/make a big deal about disappearing. I don’t agree with that. At some point as a blogger, you develop a relationship with your readers and that’s where that “Sorry I’ve been out of pocket” post comes in -and I think readers are just happy to know you’re still alive and making it!

    That’s just my two cents.

    • I agree, I think mentioning an absence is totally fine. I definitely have a relationship with my readers, and the same way I’d apologize to my boyfriend if I’d been out of reach for a certain period of time, I’d explain it to my blog readers. Nothing wrong with that — just no need to beat yourself up for letting life run its course.

  11. I can relate to your post and your angst, Amber. I also put extremely difficult expectations on myself, but ultimately I’m my toughest critic. I’m glad you’re reflecting on that in yourself and will ease up on yourself in the future. Your own happiness is the main goal, and spreading happiness and awareness to others is a very awesome bonus!

  12. Yes. This happens so, so, often. I’ve had to stop myself from writing apologetic posts every so often. With all of the travel for my job it’s just too difficult so weeks to get things together, and I’ve decided that that is just going to have to be okay. I hope you can find a way to write the guilt off of your plate, definitely not necessary. And besides, the more life living we keep doing the more we have to blog about later 🙂

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  1. […] don’t know how to really explain my sudden disappearing act (nor do I really feel the need to apologize or over explain). There are so many factors which have attributed to my 9PM bed times, over consumption of carby […]