Getting Through The Growing Pains

smc_replace02I recently stopped to think about how much has changed in my life in the past three months.

  • I moved out of my college apartment into a new place in a new neighborhood.
  • I started my first post-grad, full-time job.
  • My commute to work went from being a five-minute walk to a 20 minute subway ride.
  • My friends went from living in the room next door, or a few blocks away to completely different cities and states.
  • I have a budget…who even am I?

In short, I’ve gone from the comforts of things that have been familiar and welcomed pieces of my life for the past 3-4 years, and started to embrace the new changes and challenges of real world living. I’ve been adulting hard-core, and I’d be lying if I told you the transition has been easy.

There were many aspects of “real world” living that I was already prepared for. I knew that bills would become more frequent and costly, I knew that my schedule would change dramatically and that adjusting to a new routine would take time, and I was definitely prepared for some learning curves at work.

And all of those things happened, and then some.

But what I wasn’t prepared for were the deeper and more emotional challenges that come along with leaving the familiar behind and starting a fresh chapter in life.

I wasn’t prepared to battle bouts of sadness over going months without seeing my closest friends. I never thought I’d rely so heavily on group chats and phone calls; but still, I miss the real deal. The late night girl night sessions, getting advice in real-time and just being with my friends.

And I absolutely wasn’t prepared to be struggle so much to find a sense of normalcy in the every day.

The issue that I’ve been having is that I’ve spent so much time focusing on all of the change that’s happening, all of the transition I’m going through and all of the “problems” I have, that I haven’t stopped to truly appreciate all of the good in my life.

I watched a Periscope recently where the scoper said that we should stop focusing on not having problems and instead focus on having better problems.

DUH! That resonated so strongly in my heart, and I started taking stock of how incredible my problems are:

  • I’m currently shifting my energy and getting back on track because I was able to start the job of my dreams just months after graduating college.
  • I’ve left on comfortable apartment to move to a neighborhood I’ve always wanted to move to.
  • I’m away from my friends because we are all off working out butts off, living our passions and KILLING IT!

It’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong, challenging you or becoming a struggle. But when we shift our focus to everything that we have to be grateful for, it truly makes a world of difference.

The next few months are going to be uneasy, but I’d rather adjust now so that I can continue to do what I love in the long run.

How do you handle change and transitions? In the comments, share a time you had to make it through the growing pains.
image credit: plum pretty

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  1. I love your honesty! I will tell you, it is tough at first, but you are about to have such an amazing time as an adult. Yes, bills and emergencies and distance SUCK. But getting to create your own happiness is so fulfilling! Just keep remembering and appreciating the good stuff 🙂 xx

    • Thanks, Emily! I’m definitely trying to focus more on all of the good that’s going to come once the initial shock of so much sudden change fades.

  2. These thoughts perfectly sum up life after college! You’re totally right — these feelings and experiences are growing pains. After I graduated from college, I definitely felt a little lost being away from the comforts of the classroom and having to carve out my next goals. What I wasn’t prepared for is how my goals and perspectives would change after college…such as creating a new definition of my dream job. It sounds like you are doing some amazing things and I’m really excited to see where your first year in the post-grad world takes you! Keep up the great work!

    • Thanks so much for your kind words and constant support, Olivia! It really does mean a lot.

  3. This is a really great, reflective post. Post-grad life is one of the hardest times in your life, even though it seems like its going to be a lot of weekend brunches and weekday happy hours. I think its great advice to focus on having better problems instead of just problems and to shift our focus to the positive. Keep on doing great things!

    • Thanks, Kendall! I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. I know that after I get through these growing pains, some truly amazing things are going to happen!

  4. I can relate. I moved to a new town almost three years ago, so that I could be closer to my job. Even though I am just an hour away from home, that hour makes it hard to see friends and family as often as I like. One of the things that made living on my own easier was getting a dog. It really made my apartment feel like a home. Good luck with all your transitions! Oh, and I love the idea of having better problems!